Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
