I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
