i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
