The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
