Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
