i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
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