I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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