Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
