i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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