I'm eating all of the evidence.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
