I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
