so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
