We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
