I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
