have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
