After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
