I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
