he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
