so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
