I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
