Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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