i don't like sucking hair
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
