so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
