quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
