A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
