fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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