Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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