We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
