Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
