I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
