you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
