Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
