Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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