Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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