i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
