I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
