I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
