Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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