i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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