did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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