I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
