Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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