I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
