I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
