Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
