In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
