Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
