another moral hangover. fuck.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
