All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
