Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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